A Death at Ostara
Happy April, everyone.
As some of you know, Margarian lost her mother “K” on March 16. Death never comes at a convenient time, and so it was in this case. Mar herself had been ill with the flu and pneumonia for the previous six weeks, and was just beginning to recover when we received the news. We learned on Sunday the 9th that K. was "hanging by a thread" and "in the hands of God", so we took the red-eye that night to Toronto and went straight to the hospital.
In retrospect, Margarian was glad that we arrived that morning, as it was probably the last time K. had any awareness that someone was there. K's kidneys failed on the 11th, and she managed to survive until the evening of the 16th. During that time, we paid her several visits, made what preparations we could, and waited for the phone call to come.
Over several days, we followed K’s transition from someone alive in a hospital room, to seeing her shortly after she passed, to seeing the body in its fibreboard casket at the funeral home. On a Wednesday morning, we joined the closed casket in the chapel at the crematorium. While we waited, we studied the memorial urns in their glass niches in the walls. Then the screen at the back of the chapel retracted to reveal a utilitarian furnace room, the casket was rolled in, and the door to the oven - the womb of Fire - rolled open. My stomach dropped; it hit me that K’s physical existence was about to be annihilated – a more final departure than burying it in the Earth. The casket was moved into the oven, and the door closed. Margarian took a deep breath, turned the switch, and we heard the whoosh of the gas igniting.
The whole experience was a balance of meeting the needs of K’s supporters from her own church, with Margarian’s own needs during this period. It was a return visit to the religion and church in which Mar had been raised, and she was able to write the eulogy in that mindset. The memorial service was held on the 20th, and the little church was filled with friends and family. Mar’s uncle, a Zen Buddhist, was able to make the trip up from the States, and delivered his own perspective on K’s life.
We remained in Toronto over the Easter weekend, missing out on any Ostara observances. We took care of some Estate business on the Tuesday, and flew back the following day. The process is still only beginning for us, more threads to add to the warp and woof of the tapestry of life.
As some of you know, Margarian lost her mother “K” on March 16. Death never comes at a convenient time, and so it was in this case. Mar herself had been ill with the flu and pneumonia for the previous six weeks, and was just beginning to recover when we received the news. We learned on Sunday the 9th that K. was "hanging by a thread" and "in the hands of God", so we took the red-eye that night to Toronto and went straight to the hospital.
In retrospect, Margarian was glad that we arrived that morning, as it was probably the last time K. had any awareness that someone was there. K's kidneys failed on the 11th, and she managed to survive until the evening of the 16th. During that time, we paid her several visits, made what preparations we could, and waited for the phone call to come.
Over several days, we followed K’s transition from someone alive in a hospital room, to seeing her shortly after she passed, to seeing the body in its fibreboard casket at the funeral home. On a Wednesday morning, we joined the closed casket in the chapel at the crematorium. While we waited, we studied the memorial urns in their glass niches in the walls. Then the screen at the back of the chapel retracted to reveal a utilitarian furnace room, the casket was rolled in, and the door to the oven - the womb of Fire - rolled open. My stomach dropped; it hit me that K’s physical existence was about to be annihilated – a more final departure than burying it in the Earth. The casket was moved into the oven, and the door closed. Margarian took a deep breath, turned the switch, and we heard the whoosh of the gas igniting.
The whole experience was a balance of meeting the needs of K’s supporters from her own church, with Margarian’s own needs during this period. It was a return visit to the religion and church in which Mar had been raised, and she was able to write the eulogy in that mindset. The memorial service was held on the 20th, and the little church was filled with friends and family. Mar’s uncle, a Zen Buddhist, was able to make the trip up from the States, and delivered his own perspective on K’s life.
We remained in Toronto over the Easter weekend, missing out on any Ostara observances. We took care of some Estate business on the Tuesday, and flew back the following day. The process is still only beginning for us, more threads to add to the warp and woof of the tapestry of life.
*****
In happier news, congratulations to Judi and Lee on their handfasting at the Spring Mysteries Festival on Ostara weekend.
Hugs to those who need them…. You know who you are…
April’s Birthdays: Anyone?
Evergreen Events:
Apr. 3: Evergreen Introductory Class: Introduction
Apr. 10: Evergreen Introductory Class: Confidentiality
Apr. 17: Evergreen Introductory Class: Tools and Circle Casting
Apr. 24: Evergreen Introductory Class: Wheel of the Year
Apr. 28: Evergreen Introductory Class: The Elements
Other Events:
Note these events are listed for information purposes only; no endorsement is necessarily implied. Dates and locations may be subject to change; see the source for details. If I’ve missed anyone and you’d like to add to this listing, please contact me. Next deadline: Apr. 25.
Apr. 3: The Eclectic Circle, led by SpiritnSoul, Info: http://witches.meetup.com/1558/
Apr. 5: COGCOA Coffee Cauldron. Info: info (at) cogcoa (dot) ab (dot) ca
Apr. 5, 9:55 p.m.: New Moon. Fearn (Alder) lunar month begins.
Apr. 15, 7:00 p.m.: Calgary Witches Meetup, hosted by yours truly, in south Calgary. Info: http://witches.meetup.com/1322/
Apr. 19: Alberta Wilderness Association Expo and Climb/Run for Wilderness at the Calgary Tower. Info: http://www.climbforwilderness.ca/
Apr. 20, 4:25 a.m. Full (Pink) Moon
Apr. 22: Earth Day.
Apr. 24, 6:00 p.m.: Calgary Druid Meetup, hosted by Athelia. http://druid.meetup.com/93
Apr. 26, 9:00 a.m. Clean Calgary Association Annual Rain Barrel Sale. Info: http://cleancalgary.org
Apr. 26, 2:00 p.m. COGCOA AGM.
Apr. 26, 7:30 p.m. sharp. COGCOA Beltane Ritual.
Blessings,
Hergest
In happier news, congratulations to Judi and Lee on their handfasting at the Spring Mysteries Festival on Ostara weekend.
Hugs to those who need them…. You know who you are…
April’s Birthdays: Anyone?
Evergreen Events:
Apr. 3: Evergreen Introductory Class: Introduction
Apr. 10: Evergreen Introductory Class: Confidentiality
Apr. 17: Evergreen Introductory Class: Tools and Circle Casting
Apr. 24: Evergreen Introductory Class: Wheel of the Year
Apr. 28: Evergreen Introductory Class: The Elements
Other Events:
Note these events are listed for information purposes only; no endorsement is necessarily implied. Dates and locations may be subject to change; see the source for details. If I’ve missed anyone and you’d like to add to this listing, please contact me. Next deadline: Apr. 25.
Apr. 3: The Eclectic Circle, led by SpiritnSoul, Info: http://witches.meetup.com/1558/
Apr. 5: COGCOA Coffee Cauldron. Info: info (at) cogcoa (dot) ab (dot) ca
Apr. 5, 9:55 p.m.: New Moon. Fearn (Alder) lunar month begins.
Apr. 15, 7:00 p.m.: Calgary Witches Meetup, hosted by yours truly, in south Calgary. Info: http://witches.meetup.com/1322/
Apr. 19: Alberta Wilderness Association Expo and Climb/Run for Wilderness at the Calgary Tower. Info: http://www.climbforwilderness.ca/
Apr. 20, 4:25 a.m. Full (Pink) Moon
Apr. 22: Earth Day.
Apr. 24, 6:00 p.m.: Calgary Druid Meetup, hosted by Athelia. http://druid.meetup.com/93
Apr. 26, 9:00 a.m. Clean Calgary Association Annual Rain Barrel Sale. Info: http://cleancalgary.org
Apr. 26, 2:00 p.m. COGCOA AGM.
Apr. 26, 7:30 p.m. sharp. COGCOA Beltane Ritual.
Blessings,
Hergest
posted by Stephen Hergest at 3:28 pm
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